Expanding Wealth Conscious Beyond $$$ with Kim Mellor

:: 00:00

Hello. I'm so excited to be back and recording another episode for you today. I have a special guest. Her name is Kim Miller, and she is living in Tulu, Mexico, which is so exciting, because this is on my vision board for my next retreat, and I had no idea. I crossed her path on that special tiny little app that we have, Instagram, and just absolutely loved her vibe.

:: 00:26

She is all about ditching the hustle and expanding wealth consciousness, which I think is something that most people in the world are calling in right now, because to really thrive in a world and enjoy money at the same time seems like this new paradigm that we're creating. And I would love for you to introduce yourself to the community and let us know your take on what that means to you to expand wealth consciousness.

:: 00:57

Thank you so much for having me. Honestly, when I came across your profile, Amber, I was like, I'm sure I have known this woman for a while. You know, those people, you just feel like they've been your friend for ages. So, yeah, thank you for showing up in the way that you do. And, yeah, for pronouncing my name correct some people.

:: 01:16

Is it Kimberly Mellons? I'm like, yeah. Such a great introduction. Thank you so much. Yeah, ditching the hustle, ditching the know.

:: 01:27

We've been conditioned for so long to just keep going and going and going and strive for more. More. And then one day, we'll be able to relax. But as we know, and I'm sure your listeners who tune into you in such a devotional way, because you're so bright and so embodied in what you teach and very magnetic. So, yeah, I'm pretty sure your listeners will really be on the same page as this, that we're just ready to receive in a new way.

:: 01:56

We're ready to really feel rich. And, yes, the richness of money, but the richness of life, which so often is distracted by the constant strive for more. And, yeah, more. More has always been a part of my life. From a very young age, I was a competitive swimmer, dancer, horse rider, did all the things.

:: 02:22

And I got such a buz out of winning and striving, and it became this obsession that I needed to have that external validation to feel that I was worthy and deserving. Because, of course, your mom celebrates you when you win an award, and, of course, you're on the front of the local newspaper because you've done something great, and that then becomes a drug, and then you learn. Well, I learned as I grew up that, yeah, in order for me to feel loved, I have to be doing and striving and all the things. And then at the age of 13, I became a model. So someone stopped me on the street and was like, have you thought about being a model?

:: 03:04

And I was. So, what do you mean? It was great being recognized for my performance, but then to be recognized for what I looked like was a whole different ballgame. So then I started this journey of being a model, where, again, it was external validation. It was now based on what I looked like.

:: 03:26

So I didn't have to necessarily hustle, but I just had to smile and look pretty. And so every single ounce of my self worth was outsourced outside of me, what I looked like, what I did, and I didn't want stop to think, who am I? And when we do not know who we are, when we're not fully connected to our light and our heart and our soul, we become controllable by others. So all of my life I've been controllable. I've been a people pleaser.

:: 03:55

I've overgiven, I've given so much money, so much time, and then felt so much resentment, and I'm pretty sure most people can resonate with that. And then I started to understand this boundaries thing and like, okay, there's people out there that are talking about self love and creating spaciousness and relaxing. And I was like, that's weird. I've never had that model before. My mom was always working super hard, having two or three jobs.

:: 04:24

Saw her sit down for maybe half an hour before she went to bed. So I just thought, yeah, life is something that you just do, and then one day you can enjoy it. But I wasn't really seeing anyone around me that was enjoying their life fully. They seemed to be on this hamster wheel, go, go constantly, so it was just a norm. And then, of course, the Internet emerged, and there was just different examples of leaders who were living life a different way.

:: 04:50

So there was one way which was burn yourself to the ground and have 4 hours sleep and hustle your way there, which is a way to get there.You can do it that way. At what cost, right? And then you've got the other way where people were talking about ease and play and pleasure. I was like, what?

:: 05:11

Play is the last thing on my list. I need to do all of these things on my to do list before I even think about relaxing. And I actually thought relaxing was lazy, something that people did couldn't be asked. So, yeah, my journey has just been very much about external validation, approval, self will, and ultimately it drove me to depletion and burnout. And at 28 years old, I woke up one day.

:: 05:40

I had it all externally, right. My life looked perfect. I had a penthouse apartment in the city center of Leeds, a great relationship,a full wardrobe party, lifestyle, going out every weekend.Everyone knew my name. Like, I was so popular.

:: 05:55

I was like, shit. Think I'm happy? And as we know, 28 is usually the time when you do your old Saturn return. The life kicks you in the ass. Yeah.

:: 06:09

And that's when I started my entrepreneurial journey and was opened up to a whole world of personal development and personal growth. And I was like, wow, this is phenomenal. But I was still applying that same will and effort and hustle to my business, and I was successful. So,of course, when you're successful with what you're doing, you think, well, I need to obviously do this to be successful. And then in 2016, my mom suddenly passed away.

:: 06:37

And very sudden, she was 66. And I was like, what the fuck? Sorry, I'm swearing, but I'm authentically expressing myself. I was like, shit. And that's when I really dived into the spirituality side of development.

:: 06:57

The ethereal world that you can't see but we kind of know is there, but when you're so in the ego, so in the mind, it's really hard to connect with that part of yourself. So in that spaciousness and that grief, I really felt this unlock of consciousness within my body. What happens after you die? And there must be more to life than this. That was six, seven years ago now.

:: 07:22

So there's been a whole journey since. But I don't know if you want to unpack any of that.

:: 07:26

Wow. Yeah. I mean, I'm just holding you in. The loss of your mom and the pressure that gets put on to you as a child to show up, and prove. And I think that that can happen in two ways.

:: 07:36

It's like to be the best and do good or other people, they end up doing bad things to get attention. And it's like this conditioning of,how can I get my parents attention? And it's like, I just want to make them proud. I just want to make them happy. And if that doesn't work, then they go to the other spectrum and they start causing problems and doing things to get in trouble so they can get attention.

:: 07:55

It's just like this child wound of being seen and recognized and being loved by our parents, and then to go through the modeling industry and all the pressure that's put on and the psychological abuse that happens there and that showing up to prove and be enough and being a number and being a size and that conditioning. And I think a lot of what you spoke to is just society's belief that the more that you do, the more successful you are, the smaller that you are, the more that you're these. These arbitrary numbers that are thrown out. And then I know when I moved to Costa Rica, I was like, I'm going to go slow down the pure vida. And I brought myself with me, and one day, I just got slapped in the face when someone asked me, like, Amber, what do you do with all your money?

:: 08:40

And I was like, oh, my dad died at 52, saving his way to live his life after he retired. And I was like, I'm doing the same thing. It doesn't matter that I'm living in the sloth country if I'm still conditioned by what I saw my dad do, work 90 hours a week, even after he was diagnosed with cancer, even after he healed. And so I think how that then comes into an entrepreneur mindset of, like, okay, freedom. We can work anytime we want, and then all of a sudden, we're bending over backwards, taking client calls at any time, showing up at crazy hours, like, chasing the number, chasing the client.

:: 09:16

And then it's like, oh, that came with me here in the entrepreneur. And that's why I loved your account of to ditch the hustle, because there is this, like, how can I show up and take action, but not from a place of, like, I have to do in order to be successful? And I think you and I are so in alignment, and there's a reason that, like, attract, like, and the energy and frequency, because I literally just made a reel yesterday that I went on a five month serve trip last year. I traveled to Mexico twice with my baby and my sister and her baby. I spent the holidays and Christmas, and I three x my revenue last year.

:: 09:54

How does that happen? Unconditioning yourself to take time off? And that was so hard for me. So I'm curious for you, in your mother relationship, your modeling, your entrepreneur journey, how and when did you make the shift? How did you know?

:: 10:10

Oh, I'm just bringing myself with me because I know where it came up in my life and those shifts in mind. But for anyone that's listening, that's like, oh, that's me. What do I do next? How did you know? And then what did you do about it?

:: 10:25

That's such a great question. Wow.

:: 10:27

I feel like I know so much. More about you from your story. So thank you. I can see where I resonate for sure. Yeah. And I love what you said there.

:: 10:35

Like, you bring you with you, doesn't matter where you are, there you are. You're everywhere that you go. So, yeah, the thing with the ego is the ego thinks it's running the show, but actually it's the most tiniest part of our life that we overidentify with, and it just becomes this controlling aspect of our life. And then before we know it, we're living a life that we're actually not in full alignment with to continue with the entrepreneurial. So I started this online business which was like a huge portal of transformation for me.

:: 11:09

It really opened me up to this other world of possibility and, wow, I don't have to trade time for money in a linear model. There's an unlinear way that I could actually compound my money and have it work for me. Completely alien concept. They don't teach money at school for a reason because they don't want people to be really wealthy. So I've had to learn all of this myself, and how I've learned it is by making mistakes.

:: 11:34

And my wish is for people to not have to get burned before they learn the lesson. It's to learn from orgasmic pleasure and just listening to podcasts like this and going, okay, yeah, noted. I'm not going to make that mistake. So the really important piece is having awareness of who we are. So along my journey, when my mom passed away, I really was starting to understand that we're all so unique and we all have a sole purpose and who am I?

:: 12:03

And I realized that the reason I was so unhappy was because I was living a life that wasn't really in alignment with my soul and my truth and my values. So I really started to open up to numerology and astrology and human design, and I was like, oh, my gosh, thank God I've got permission to be me. When a manifesting generator discovers that they're supposed to do a lots of different things and burn their energy out at the end of the day because they've just got so much to give, it's like, okay, I'm not crazy. So understanding ourselves is the most powerful thing that we can ever, ever do. Because when we are connected to ourselves, our soul, our light, we are not controllable.

:: 12:43

We say no to the thing that we used to say yes to. We do not allow social media to distract us away from really what we're truly here to do and be. So it's been a whole self discovery journey, and that's where my Souldigger podcast emerged in 2019. During COVID I had always wanted to do a podcast, but I was like, to get my voice out there and little people pleasing me, just wanting everyone to like me. What if I said something that someone didn't agree with and I was like, well, what if they do?

:: 13:18

Of course not everyone is going to agree with what you share, and that's okay. And I started to really find my voice and speak my truth and own it and fully claim who I was. And my life started to shift and evolve and that business that I was a part of for ten years just wasn't aligned anymore. And I really desired to be a coach and I wanted to talk about manifestation and transformation and really support people outside of my business. So I woke up one morning and I was like, I'm going to be a coach.

:: 13:54

The next week. I had four clients and then had a sold out program, and then I had sold out retreats and I was like, wow, this is so cool. I loved it so much and I still love coaching. What I found, though, was the place I was doing it from was still leading with my ego. There is nothing wrong with having goals, but my goal was I want to have a million dollar year in my coaching business.

:: 14:22

And that was from a place of still trying to prove myself, still trying to seek validation that, see, I am a great coach. I've just had a million dollar year in my business, which again, is technically about me being the guru. And what happened was I had like just an incredible six months in business, six figures in six months. And then I spent six figures in six months on coaches and retreats. And investing in yourself is so powerful.

:: 14:59

And then I found myself not being able to afford to buy almond milk. It was such a crazy duality moment where 1 minute I was handing 30 grand over to a coach, the next minute I was literally in tears because one of my housemates stole my almond milk out of my fridge and I literally couldn't afford to buy another one. And so when I was in that beer and scarcity mode, I was able to just sit with and zoom out of what is this illuminating? Because everything is information. And I had to go through that high high and that low low to realize that I was still giving away my power and I wasn't fully connected to my infinite nature.

:: 15:47

Because when you're connected to your infinite abundance, because you are the universe, you're connected to all that is you don't need to be with you just are worthy. Existing is worthy. I was like, I'm still giving my power away. And so when I was stripped bare of everything I thought I still needed and desired to feel this sense of achievement, I was forced to let go. I literally had no other option but to surrender.

:: 16:14

And I took myself off to Ubud. I was in Bali at the time, and I just sat with myself, had some little mushrooms. I was like, soul, I'm just so ready to do things differently. I'm done with the burnout, I'm done with the lone wolf. I'm so sick of not having wealth.

:: 16:34

Like, I earned a lot of money. And I was like, if I had this mindset of accumulation, like, I just want to have this million, because then I'll be able to how it goes. And I was like, there must be something I'm missing. Just show me. Whatever you bring to me, I'll just be in full devotion to.

:: 16:50

And then my spirit baby came. For the very first time, I felt this deep, deep desire to be a mother. Wow. I'd never allowed that in before because my ego was fully in the driving seat. And when my ego had this death, that was when I realized that the secret to more isn't doing more, it's actually allowing what is not aligned to die.

:: 17:20

And just being this receptor receiving, in order to receive, we have to allow the ego to die, because otherwise it's just going to keep controlling us. So my spirit baby came and he was like, yeah, you want to be a mother? I'm ready, but you've got to do things differently. And what I realized was my body had been left out of the conversation for far too long. I hadn't been listening to my body.

:: 17:47

I was just in the driving my head, my mind was just like, go, go. And that's why I was completely exhausted. And he said, it's time to take care of your body. It's time to be surrounded by people who get you to be in community. You don't have to do it all on your own.

:: 18:02

And it's not just about the money. Let's create real wealth. Let's create this beautiful life from overflow, from fully being in your body and taking care of your nervous system. So that's when I had this beautiful device called Healy come into my life, which is just the most amazing self awareness tool, and it really supported my nervous system to be able to rest and repair itself. And so I went from being in this scarcity, fight and flight mode to being plugged into this community, this beautiful freedom frequency community, which was full of heart centered, devoted men and women who were all committed to doing it differently.

:: 18:48

And I knew that I was a match to this because I was ready to really receive in a new way. So this whole year since that being brought to me and me fully surrendering and being devoted to it has completely rewired the way that I get to receive. Hustling. It just isn't in my field anymore. But it's taken time.

:: 19:13

And this is what I want people to understand, is it takes time and devotion, because we're rewiring generations and generations of conditioning. So it's not an overnight thing. And what I say to everyone is, get in community, get in community, get in community. When we are around other people, we feel we can exhale and we don't have to do it all on our own. And when there's systems and structures to hold us in, the spaciousness, right.

:: 19:44

Because a lot of people go from, I'm going to hustle, I'm going to do, I'm going to go, go. And then they go, fuck the system. I'm just going to flow. I'm going to do what I want. And the feminine is wild.

:: 19:58

She's sexy, she's slow, she's all the things. And she needs a little bit of support. She needs to be provided for by masculine structures in order to feel safe, to fully flow. So I feel with simple systems and structures and a pathway to really support my feminine, to relax and surrender has been the key components of me really healing from hustle. Yeah.

:: 20:26

And I wouldn't say I'm fully healed, but I'm like, 80% better than what I was. And it feels really good to be here. Yeah.

:: 20:38

And I think what you said, like, this ability to get to know ourselves, it's never that we're 100% healed. It's that we're constantly in relationship with who we are and aware of what we're doing. And when old patterns come in, if we're in the hustle, we don't have the ability to feel and to notice what's happened until we get to the other side. But if we do allow space to pause and be and connect, we're connected to the channel, which is what you were saying about going in and taking the mushrooms and asking from source. That doesn't come through when you're hustling and when you're doing.

:: 21:13

It's like the spaciousness of being in the shower and just being in the shower, going out into the jungle, going for a surf, going for a walk without your phone these moments of space and time to just be without there being an end result or something to check off the do list. It happens a lot when people have a morning routine or a daily devotion to prayer or practice. It becomes something that you do. And when it becomes something that you do, you miss the channel that's coming through and downloading to you. And I love this idea that your son came through you, telling you, like, now is the time.

:: 21:46

Because in hustle mode, how are you going to be with a baby and be present with a baby and be aware of what you're teaching this child if you're go, go do. And so it's like connecting to the body and what the body is telling you. And I often speak of. Like the signs of our body speaking to us are so subtle that we know when we have to go to the bathroom, we know when we're hungry, we know when we're tired. But there's such small micro signs from the body and that we're being guided and directed by our soul and our higher power.

:: 22:19

All of the. It's. We just can't hear and listen and feel and see and trust the intuition if we're doing all the time. And so it's like how to receive. I know that when I moved to Costa Rica to be on the beach and read a book, I felt guilty.

:: 22:33

Shouldn't I be working? Shouldn't I be doing something? And that trading time for money, it's like, well, if I'm not working and making money, then I'm not doing anything worth value of all. But you and I both know, and many people listening, there's so much value in not doing, because a baby can't be born without the feminine and the masculine. And there is a lot of fluff on the Internet.

:: 22:58

Like, just let your clients come to you. And it's like, no, you have to sell and you have to follow up and you have to create relationships. And there isn't just feminine energy and people aren't just going, yeah, clients fall from the sky, but because of what you do, because of the masculine structures that you have in place. And so I think there is the healing of both coming together. And we swing from one side of the pendulum to the other, and we need a merging of the two in the same way a baby is conceived.

:: 23:24

It's like the feminine and the masculine must merge into the one to actually have a baby. And to think about scientifically what has to happen for a baby to be born. And the chances of that baby being born, how can we not believe in magic? How can we not believe in surrender? How can we not believe in the ability to receive?

:: 23:46

And I say that all the while, sometimes, like, having to come back into faith, into trust. But I think once I had a baby, I really realized how much surrender has to happen when giving birth. It's like, you can't push that baby out. Yeah, they tell you to push the baby out, but the baby doesn't come out until the baby's ready to come out. And that's why women tear, and that's why there's all the trauma, and we won't even go into birth and birth trauma and how you should birth and that story.

:: 24:15

But I think that looking at the way in which humans are born and the way in which humans leave this world and how hard and heavy that is and how beautiful and brilliant and magical it is when the child comes in, it's duality. And I think feminine and masculine show us the duality and the dance. And when we are healing from the hustle culture, it's really being so clear on what we're doing and why we're doing it. The intention, the sankulpa behind it, and then giving ourselves that empowerment and that ability to refine and to know that, yeah, you said 80% healed. And I know for me, when I'm like, I thought I healed, that I'm like, oh, this is just another layer deeper, because now there's a new level of consciousness that I'm like, oh, here it came again.

:: 25:04

There you are again. I see you. And rather than judging that old version of you, it's like, okay, I'm here. I hug you, I hold you. I'm so glad that you're here to teach me, to teach me again that there's more that I have here to share.

:: 25:19

Beautiful. Yeah. That's so great. Yeah, it was interesting because I've always had freedom as one of my core values, and I wondered why I wasn't really building wealth. And I realized that freedom and wealth are two completely different things.

:: 25:38

You can be free and have no money. You can have money and not feel free. So this concept of wealth and wealth consciousness was really in my field last year, and I was like, wow, okay, let me really understand wealth and what it is and how to really build it, and just this connection with my body, and it's how I actually built my business, is how I feel wealthy. It's not about just the money. It's about the how.

:: 26:12

So when I started to take this new path and learn to receive in this new way, I started to understand that wealth is about nervous system regulation. It's about relationships, it's about health and nutrition and really having financial sovereignty and understanding where to invest and how to invest. And that's been like a really big learning curve for me this past year is raising my wealth consciousness, which really is just waking up the parts of you that are wealthy, because we are just. We're inherently wealthy, but we think we have to work and hustle to get the money. And whenever we think we have to go get it is when we need to actually meditate and pull it towards us.

:: 27:03

So if anyone's listening to this, you're thinking, right, okay, well, where do I even begin? Really look at the beliefs that are keeping you stuck in that story and just remove them. Releasing old, outdated paradigms of, like, I have to work hard to make money and, oh, my God, I have to compromise myself. I have to choose between this and this. And that's where I was.

:: 27:26

I had to choose between my health or making money and I had to choose my health and I vowed to never, ever have to make that compromise again. And realized how much of my life has been controlled by the more and how now it's all about the less. How little can I do to receive the most? And yeah, it's been a really beautiful journey. And our only job is to really connect with ourselves and our soul and really become aware of who we are on a DNA, energetic level.

:: 28:09

Especially in this time where Aquarius is. Pluto is in Aquarius and. I'm so sorry, can you hear that noise in the background? Just give me one sec.

:: 28:43

I can't hear.

:: 28:49

Okay, I'm back.

:: 28:50

There you go.

:: 28:51

Okay, great. Sorry about that. Something just went noisy and was distracting. So especially with Pluto going into Aquarius, it's a really powerful time to really get to know you. And I had an old client reach out to me and she was like, I'm going to be going on holiday in the next few weeks.

:: 29:08

What book should I read? Any recommendations? Get to know yourself. Have human design, reading numerology. Understand your birth chart.

:: 29:19

Like, anything you can do to understand yourself because you being in full connection with your sovereignty and your soul is the trajectory for the next 20 years. That is how important this stuff is. And it's this feeling of community and unification through individuality. So I feel like my whole vibe the past few years has just been about really finding my voice. And I can be elegant and sexy and sassy, but I also love the zero fuck vibe and just being edgy and authentic and sexy and sassy.

:: 29:54

And it's taken me a while to really break out of the conditioning of really be myself. But ultimately, truth is the only option. Truth is the highest frequency. And when you are living a life of pure truth, that's when things get pulled towards you. And, yeah, it's just one of the most valuable things you can ever do in this lifetime is really get to understand who you are.

:: 30:25

Yeah. I love what you said about wealth and freedom being your highest value because I always say freedom has always, to me, been success. Freedom to go where I want, when I want, with who I want. And that means having wealth and how it's like if you're not wealthy, but health is wealth. And so if you don't have health, you don't have wealth, no matter how much money you have. My dad died with millions of dollars.

:: 30:49

What did that wealth mean? Absolutely nothing. And then my stepmother stole this money from us, and she's miserable. And so I'm like, she has lots of money, and she's unhappy. And so I think, just like, what you're teaching on getting to know yourself, it's so powerful, it's so potent, and, yeah, human design, astrology, numerology.

:: 31:12

When you understand who you are, the way you operate, why you are certain, it's this sweet understanding and this dance where no longer you're fighting against yourself, you're like, oh, that's why I've always been that way. It's just like this deep confirmation, and it's also deep permission, and that is massive wealth. And so I love everything that you shared today on how you really need wealth in all aspects of your life, especially the one of getting to know yourself, because I think that is richness. That is richness. And so for those that are listening right now, they want to connect with you.

:: 31:47

They want to find you. They want to stay inspired by your work. Where would you send them?

:: 31:53

Oh, I love Instagram. @Kimmellor_, underscore. Come and hang out. We have lots of fun over there.

:: 32:01

She is such a vibe. Her energy is so incredible. So if you're not already following her, go now. That will be listed in the show notes below. And thank you for being here at the beginning of 2024, and may this be your wealthiest year yet.

:: 32:16

Thank you, Kim.

:: 32:18

Thank you so much, Amber.

:: 32:19

Appreciate it, everyone.

:: 32:21

Bye.